I don't want to be ungrateful for this gift, but I am very scared of trying to work through wretched morning sickness. It's bad. I'm already fighting it hard and I didn't even know I was pregnant 72 hours ago. I am terrified of gaining too much weight. I don't know how long my clothes will fit. I had goals damnit!

Today I find myself 5 weeks pregnant and confused. This was not planned. Miscalculation. I wanted another eventually, in another year or so. Don't confuse me with ungrateful or angry, just working to rearrange my life plans. I don't have insurance. I was going to join my husband's plan from work in January. Thanks obamacare for still not having affordable coverage! I am right in the middle of training for running some 5ks. I am just getting my garden started. I have a big construction project to work on. I only have one bathroom! I just started organizing and de cluttering my house! I am not ready! But on another note... I have 3 kids, we know what to do with another. It's going to be fine. I am not sure how I am going to handle my high demand job and morning sickness. I was going to write a book first!